Most people have trouble making changes.
Even when faced with the choice of 'change or die' most people are unable to change.
I have heard experts say that for quite some time. And, I know from personal experience and from observing other people it can be difficult to make certain changes. So, let's accept that as a fact of Nature.
What should we do about that?
The answer depends upon the future you desire.
In the future, do you want:
- changes for the better?
- no changes?
- changes for the worse?
To be clear, I am not questioning whether or not you want other people to change...[that pretty much goes without saying]. I am asking, do you want:
- changes for the better?
- no changes?
- changes for the worse?
Unless I am missing something, those are the only 3 possibilities.
And,
- most people would remove #3 from the short list and
- many people, if not most people, would choose #1
If you choose #1 - if you choose changes for the better - then here is some advice that will help...
First: accept that facts, fear, & force will not lead to sustained changes for the better. Positive change, constructive change, has calmer and more comfortable sources. Relax yourself. Set aside time to think about yourself and the changes you desire. Think about baby steps of change. Think about what you want to accomplish...think about the end point. While you do that, set small achievable-action goals. But, don't expect immediate perfection. It takes desire and persistence and time to create Good Habits.
Educate yourself...using expert advice. For example, here is a recommendation from Alan Deutschman1:
The First Key to Change: Relate -
Form a new emotional relationship with a person or community that inspires and sustains hope.
The Second Key to Change: Repeat -
The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills that you'll need. It helps tremendously to have a good teacher, coach, or mentor to give you guidance, encouragement, and direction along the way.
The Third Key to Change: Reframe -
The new relationship helps you learn new ways of thinking about your situation and your life. You change the way you look at the world.
Putting all of that together:
Relax, Relate, Repeat & Reframe
That's one way to create changes for the better.
Footnote:
Reader comments (4)
Comments from the original blog platform, 2008–2021.
Rick ·
"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory." W. Edwards Deming
Spirited Sales Tweets ·
Thought Tweet #415 Thought Tweet #415
rick baker ·
“One of the reasons it has seemed so difficult for a person to change his habits, his personality, or his way of life, has been that heretofore nearly all efforts at change have been directed to the circumference of the self, so to speak, rather than to the center.” Maxwell Maltz, American Cosmetic Surgeon and Author [PsychoCybernetics, 1960]
rickbaker.ca ·
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