Confidence is a personal thing.

There is no reason to design your self-confidence in a way that fits someone else’s viewpoint or rules.

Your self-confidence can and should be as big as you want it to be…including believing you’re better than anyone else. If you choose to think that way, you will be in good company:

• consider how Muhammad Ali felt and thought when he was in his prime^1,2
• think about Wayne Gretzky – would any of us have told Gretzky to stop thinking he was the best?
• think about Napoleon who changed the world

Now, some people confuse confidence with cockiness/hubris/conceit…

Perhaps cockiness does correlate with confidence; perhaps, on average, confident people are cockier than people who are not confident?

Regardless: cockiness is not about what you believe; cockiness is about how you behave. You can choose to be confident without choosing to be cocky. And, confidence without cockiness is a magnetic, inspiring combination.

On the one hand -

No question – sometimes highly-confident behaviour can be off-putting to other people.

On the other hand -

No question – thinking you are better than anyone else can result in Olympic gold medals, putting a man on the moon…and numerous examples of business brilliance.

It seems to me…

Champions and serious contenders must believe they are better than anyone else. Otherwise they are doomed to not be champions or contenders for very long. This applies in the big picture [the major political stages, the premier-level sports stages, etc] and it applies on smaller-scale stages [your chess club, your karaoke contests, etc].

People with lesser ambitions should not impress their non-champion or non-contender beliefs on champions or other more-confident competitors. 

Footnotes:

1. I have special memories of Muhammad Ali. He ignited my life-long interest in the sweet sport. I remember, when I was very young, attending fight night at our local arena...watching Ali on the big screen, listening to my Dad and his buddies root for the other guy [ex. Joe Frasier]...and all the time wondering why I wanted Ali to win...and wondering what funny things Ali would say to the reporters after he won the fight. Sure, Ali was both confident and cocky. For me, his cockiness was a small thing to endure to witness his tremendous personality and humour...and, of course, his champion-level boxing performances.
2. In December 1999 Muhammad Ali received some rather special recognition. Here's a couple of examples: he was named Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of The Century and BBC Sports Personality of the Century.